Sponsorship
In our meetings, there are different ideas about "Sponsorship" such as a Buddy or Mentor or Sober Friend. There is nothing wrong with any of these terms, however the "Big Book" refers to sponsorhip in terms of "Newcomer", "Prospect", "Protege'" and "Friend".
However, our job as recovered alcoholics is to be of maximum service to God and the people about us, according to our Big Book. "People about us" being anyone as we are all God's Kids bu preferably alcoholics in our Fellowship.
In short, this means we are now ready to Carry THIS Message to the newcomer as we "have been given the power to help others. "(BB, p132, para 3). Many of us hear various versions of "Twelve Stepping" which, frankly, have nothing to do with the Big Book or even AA for matter!
At the BBBS, we are not in the debating society. We simply believe in the intelligence, wisdom and humility of the Big Book.
While the BB does not write about Sposnorship specifically, it is commonly understood this is covered in Chapter Seven and through to chapter Eleven. Within these pages, it clearly sets out what a recovered alcoholic has to do o maintain his or her sobriety to fufil our Primary Purpose in AA. And we are willing to do it with compassion and love for the still suffering alcoholic, not in a judgemental or controlling way. There are no AA Guru's here - just folks who have a simple and real to help others to a Spiritual Awakening.
While we remain open-minded and broadminded about how others may work with others, we tend to remind ourselves that we do not wish to be evangelical about our efforts nor claim our way is the right way compared to others. We just try when asked and carry AA's real message of the Basic Text of Alcoholics Anonymous in the same Spirit of The First One Hundred. We have no claim to be the best nor harm other AA groups by our efforts in Tradition Four. This is a program of attraction, afterall!
We have some folks in our group who have the time and the willingness to help others. If you are looking for a Sponsor, then please come along and we will be only too glad to help you or if you prefer email us at bbbsppg@mail.com
Meantime, for those undecided or wondering about Sponsorship then here are some questions for your ponder, if you are working with other or are being "sponsored" already. Remember to be rigorously honest in answering the following:
1. Have I HONESTLY had a Spiritual Awakening, Experience or Psychic change as a direct result of having followed the clear-cut directions in the Basic Text for Alcoholics Anonymous?
2. Do I clearly understand that my REAL (sole) purpose in living by the Spirit of the Twelve Steps is to fit myself to be of maximum service to God and the people He places in my life.
3. If given the opportunity to help an alcoholic to recover, am I willing to go anywhere and at anytime to do so ( while honoring the guidelines that men for men; women for women to keep us within our UK guidelines to prevent "thirteenth stepping")
4. Am I one of these who will try to help even though it may be inconvenient?
5. When given the opportunity to help someone, do I consider it a boost to my ego or do I geniunely accept that I am doing His work by taking full responsibility for an alcoholic's life?
6. Do I fully understand that my sole role and responsibility is to guide the new prospect, who ask for my help, to learn and experience the clear-cut directions in our Basic Text? Nothing else.
7. Do I insist that if I help them follow the clear-cut directions in our program, they too will also insist that the newcomers they will reach will do likewise?
8. Do I really explain the real problem of the alcoholic through the Big Book or do I give my own version of "AA" as if to make out smarter and wiser than the first one hundred, who wrote the Big Book?
9. Do I truly hold my proteges' accountable for program work or do I enable them by accepting their excuses?
10. Do I attend meetings with my prospect for ego purposes or do I spend time with my protege at home as this is where the real AA in experienced; on the frontline and working with others?
11. Do I understand the real seriousness and vital importance of taking the newcomer through the twelve steps as soon as possible AND as quickly as possible?
12. If the prospects who comes to us under the third tradition and we respond in kind through the fifth tradition; but the prospect still lacks the willingness to follow directions - am I honest enough to tell the new person that this may not be the fellowship or program for them and therefore, we need no longer invest precious time helping them? Remember alcohol is the great persuader.
13. And finally, is my current sponsor still giving me what I want - accountability and effective counsel as | grown along Spiritual lines? Or is my sponsors' Spiritual Malady "sponsoring" me or killing me with opinions, unsolicited advice or demands?
Other Useful Pointers
Men for men; women for women is the usual route for pairing up for sponsorship deals. If you are gay or lesbian, then it may be a case you share with a gay man if you're lesbian or vice versa. A man may take on a woman to sponsor but the male sponsor must check his ego or sexual motives before doing so, particularly if the prospect is attractive or vulnerble. If you are a woman and a male AA person asks you if you are looking for a sponsor, you would be best advised to decline if he is offering to help, especially if you have not sought help from him.
When you get a find a person who you think could be a sponsor, ask if she or he has had a Spiritual Awakening as a result of these steps? If not, then move onto someone else.
If you get a sponsor, a good sign that you picked a good one is that she or he will qualify you first as a real alcoholic (pg 21 and 92) and will suggest you get a copy of the Big Book and read the first 43 pages as well as the Doctor's Opinion AND the twelve steps (pg 59 & 60) before rearranging to meet up with you for a second time.
Sponsors are not neccessarily long term sober, mart or wise men or women ole jail birds Morgan Freeman's character in the Shawshank Redemption. Sponsors are very human men and women who have one common feature: all have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind through the Basic Text for Alcoholics Anonymous.
If a sponsor recommends you go through the program with the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, then politely suggest he or she reads page 17 of the Twelve By Twelve AND remind him or her what book helped grow the fellowship in the beginning? (The Big Book in 1939).
Lastly, sponsors are not therapists, counsellors or life coaches. The purpose of a sponsor is to guide you through the clear-cut directions of the Basic Text to a Spiritual Awakening to help solve your problem. Nothing else.
Whether you are brand newcomer or an old timer who has never attempted the program , the same guidelines apply. Sponsorship is absolutely neccessary and finding an effective and strong sponsor who will hold you to account and see it through with you while keeping your confidences are hard to find.
However, there are many folks who are well up for in Big Book Study/Recovery type meetings - just shop around and ask questions and the right one will show itself if you are looking for real recovery....
We recover by the steps we take, not solely by the meetings we make