Spiritual Malady

According to the Big Book:

On p52, we get a snapshot of our mental and emotional state prior to the recovery program when it writes in the paragraph, beginning, " We had to ask ourselves...":

"...We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people..." (commonly known as the bedevilments).

On p62, we read what triggers this:

"Selfishness - Self-Centredness";better described as our Spiritual Malady!

Why?

Because the World and it people (mostly) do not live up to our expectations; they do not give us what we want (basic instincts) and they do not do what we want right here, right now!

So we get upset, angry, fearful; we say and do things which make us less than fun people, so over time healthy, smart folks just leave us while we wallow in self-pity, resentment, fear, shame and eventually booze (if you are an alcoholic of the hopeless and helpless type). We end up lonely and isolated.

Selfish (me first; what's in it for me?; what can I get?; what about my pleasure, fun and gratification, including personal status, income, sex, food, material and emotional wants?).

Self-Centred (look and hear me; See me, hear me NOW!; no body else matters, including God, things and others).

In this state, we play God with our lives and other peoples lives (spouses, partners, children, siblings, relatives, employees, co-workers, friends, neighbours, AA/Recovery folks, etc) even when hang around AA for a while; some of us treat the Spiritual Malady with outside issues (gambling, food, sex, compulsive relationships and/or drugs; prescribed or unprescribed).

Whatever or however the non-spiritual remedy, most alcoholics run the show in this condition and pass it on regardless of the hurt, pain and suffering it causes others even to themselves pre-recovery program. 

On pages 62 - 164, we get the way out from this condition which will teach us to live happily and long in this World as we accept we are equally as powerless over our Spiritual Malady as we are over alcohol!

We recover by the steps we take, not solely by the meetings we make